i made breakfast today for all 4 of us
pancakes, bacon and scrambled egg with cheese and mushroom
fresh orange and mandarin juice
as i turn to put the last pancake from pan to the plate
i freeze momentarily by sight of a dark grid formed
by  light through the window on the kitchen counter
and just for a short while, i feel i’m still in my apartment
standing barefoot in kitchen, leaning against the dish washer
having cornflakes while staring at the shadows formed on the counter
everywhere everyone’s asleep on the verge of dawn and i’m high on life
awake and eager to unfold the day
i travel back just to find everyone’s staring at me
frozen standing there with pan in one hand
as lost as always
and the whole morning i’m wondering
how long ago was it?
what happened to those days?
feels as if it was in another life, as if it was someone else
not necessarily happy, but bittersweet

i thought i had forgotten the taste of  bloodoranges