heavy thoughts penetrated through his silent mind
in the middle of a department store,
he was holding a set of beige colored fitted sheets
the irony cracked him up
he pondered why is he even doing this?
he had been sleeping on the mattress protector since he had got here
another faded smile as he looked up
a girl with a little purple dress in her hands on the other aisle

Someday we may listen to this song together again.
Somewhere, maybe, we never stopped listening.

papillon is a good movie
cause we are all guilty of a wasted life (so far?)

“Resilience is the capacity of a system to absorb disturbance and reorganize while undergoing change so as to still retain essentially the same function, structure, identity, and feedbacks. … The notion of speed of return to equilibrium (Pimm 1991) leads to what has been termed “engineering resilience” (Holling 1996) and, although related to one aspect of “ecological resilience,” cannot be considered as the measure of resilience. Because of the possibility of multiple stable states, when considering the extent to which a system can be changed, return time doesn’t measure all of the ways in which a system may fail—permanently or temporarily—to retain essential functions. It is also important to bear in mind that “systems” consist of nested dynamics operating at particular organizational scales—“sub-systems,” as it were, of households to villages to nations, trees to patches to landscapes.
There are four crucial aspects of resilience. The first three can apply both to a whole system or the sub-systems that make it up.

1. Latitude: the maximum amount a system can be changed before losing its ability to recover (before crossing a threshold which, if breached, makes recovery difficult or impossible).
2. Resistance: the ease or difficulty of changing the system; how “resistant” it is to being changed.
3. Precariousness: how close the current state of the system is to a limit or “threshold.”
4. Panarchy: because of cross-scale interactions, the resilience of a system at a particular focal scale will depend on the influences from states and dynamics at scales above and below. For example, external oppressive politics, invasions, market shifts, or global climate change can trigger local surprises and regime shifts.”

Walker, B., C. S. Holling, S. R. Carpenter, and A. Kinzig. 2004. Resilience, adaptability and transformability in social–ecological systems. Ecology and Society 9(2): 5.

“Repentance is for little children.” [citing Eichmann]
Eichmann in Jerusalem, Hannah Arendt

it will get monotonous shortly after
no matter how many times you try
mo matter how bad you want or how hard you try
BUT LET IT ALL BEGIN!

If we do not cut carbon by 90% by 2030 then carbon emissions in the atmosphere reach 430 parts per million, and that is the point at which unequivocally, most of the world’s major ecosystems go into positive feedback. The biosphere becomes a net source of carbon dioxide, and then the game is out of our hands. It has got nothing to do with us any more, because there’s not a thing we can do to stop it. The ecosystems on which we have relied to absorb carbon dioxide, they start producing it. It is a fight against what we have become. It is a fight against our own inherent tendencies to desire and consume and grab more and more and more. The biggest fight of our lives, ladies and gentlemen, the biggest fight of our lives is not out there, it is in here. [our mind]

i made breakfast today for all 4 of us
pancakes, bacon and scrambled egg with cheese and mushroom
fresh orange and mandarin juice
as i turn to put the last pancake from pan to the plate
i freeze momentarily by sight of a dark grid formed
by  light through the window on the kitchen counter
and just for a short while, i feel i’m still in my apartment
standing barefoot in kitchen, leaning against the dish washer
having cornflakes while staring at the shadows formed on the counter
everywhere everyone’s asleep on the verge of dawn and i’m high on life
awake and eager to unfold the day
i travel back just to find everyone’s staring at me
frozen standing there with pan in one hand
as lost as always
and the whole morning i’m wondering
how long ago was it?
what happened to those days?
feels as if it was in another life, as if it was someone else
not necessarily happy, but bittersweet

i thought i had forgotten the taste of  bloodoranges