now i see
now i understand how it’s possible
to drown all the way inside
to forget it all
to live like them



canadian cinema is cheesy, boring and lame!

In the entire world, there is not one human being who is free from pain. Even in favorable conditions, a person encounters struggle. It is proper to welcome struggle. Its arrival is always auspicious. — Swami Kripalu

right now
at this very moment
I’m sitting in a shit loaded bus on the way home
Everyone’s dressed up and looking at their best
Some are wearing customs and some are very formal
And me
I’m just coming off work… Dirty and dusty as hell
Wool glass all over my tshirt and pants from fixing air condition unit
on roofs with insulation…i can smell my own sweat
Now I’m that guy who comes to your home , connects up your A/C in the roof and you don’t even notice his existence while he is there
Once he’s gone, you will have cool air but I bet you would never think of him again!
No
I don’t wish to be in their shoes with their fancy dresses and table reservations.. I don’t wish to be headed to their parties instead of bed cause I have only slept an average of 4 hours for weeks now

I’m happy to be me
Invisible

i covered most of french cinema, italian, spain, latin and anything worth watching.
we are talking about movies from 19 fucking 20’s.
film noir, avant garde, new wave and whatever you might think of.
i ticked movie after movie and that one movie was always left un-ticked.
probably one of the only movies on my computer.
not too sure what was about it, maybe because of that day or perhaps seemed boring ,
but then again try Playtime of Jaques Tati
(even though extremely annoying, i loved the idea, set up, camera).
Then she came along and i was already bored with cinema.
Not only cinema but i was/am? bored with anything life.
Just feels like a weird twirl sucking me into darkness.
Well, she didn’t help either,
she falls asleep 10 minuted into anything other than Hollywood.
Then tonight,
snuggling in bed,
too lazy to get out and connect up the hard drive,
she says play anything on your laptop.
I could only think of one movie.
Credits come up and i take a look at her,
she’s sound asleep,
no surprises there,
Her chest moving up with every inhale,
The curves of her veins on her neck,
The short, tiny blonde hairs just before her line of hair on her forehead
and i’m pondering to myself
it’s my heart and it’s broken.